The Night of the Gun

By David Carr

I came across this book because it was referenced in other works I’ve read about addiction, and I found its concept intriguing. With many addicts in my life, I’ve come to appreciate different perspectives on the topic.

David Carr, after achieving sobriety, became a successful investigative journalist. Eventually, he made a startling realization about his past: different people had wildely conflicting accounts of events in his life. Using his skills as a reporter, he decided to investigate his own life to answer the question—what kind of addict was he?

The book offers some excellent insights into how unreliable our memories can be and how we reshape them to protect our self-image. It’s fascinating to consider how little of our own past we truly recall and how much of it we unconsciously rewrite.

However, I found the detailed stories of Carr’s substance abuse less compelling. Some addicts revel in recounting their escapades with drugs and alcohol, their eyes lighting up as they share their wild experiences. Carr seems to be one of those addicts.

As someone who has never struggled with addiction, I just didn’t connect with these parts. Reading about outrageous incidents fueled by cocaine or alcohol felt unremarkable to me—just more of the same. Because of this, I skimmed over much of the book’s addiction-related anecdotes.

Quotes...

"Personal narrative is not simply opening up a vein and letting the blood flow toward anyone willing to stare. The historical self is created to keep dissonance at bay and render the subject palatable to the present."

"People remember what they can live with more often than how they lived."

"Drugs, its seems to me, do not conjure up demons, they access them. Was I faking it then, or am I faking it now?, Which, you may ask, of my two selves did I make up?"

"The defining characteristic of recovery from addiction, or any other chronic health issue, is that you are fine until you are not."