Monday, October 21, 2019

The Dance of Connection

By Harriet Lerner

There is a lot here for me to think about. I came across this book while reading "Dare to Lead." The book has an observation that when under stress, people have two responses. They can over function and try to take over. They can underfunction-- disengage, go quiet.

I am an underfunctioner and I need to address that. It won't be easy. It will take a lot of work.

For example, the book examines "The evil stepmother" trope. Evil stepmothers happen when the father underfunctions or disengages dumping all mother duties on the step mother. It's not the stepmothers problem than she has to be the mother with children that she has no relationship with. The problem is that the father has disengaged.


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