The Happiest Toddler on the Block

By Harvey Karp.

Someone recommended this to me as a good management or effectiveness book. There is a grain of truth to that. The core messages of "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" can apply to everyone.

1. Fast Food Trick-- repeat back what you just heard. It shows you are paying attention. It offers the speaker an opportunity to confirm that you heard correct.
2. It's not just what you say, it's how you say it. When you talk, match the tone and mood of the listener. Maybe a notch or too more upbeat if you are trying to lift spirits, or a notch or two more downbeat if you are trying to calm things down. This shows you are really paying attention to the mood of the conversation, and not just parroting back what you heard. It also gives the 'toddler' feedback on what their mood comes across as to others.
   For example, if the 'toddler' says "I'm Angry!" say back "You are Angry." in a slightly less irritated tone of voice. Not "Don't be angry" in a calm soonthing voice. The second approach shows that you have listened, but is dismissive of the speaker's point.
3. Be consistent and build trust.