Egonomics

By David Marcum  & Steven Smith

I must read this one again in a year. It has a lot of good point and will take a rereading to get full value from it…

This book is about the ego, and it's affect on your life. Your ego must be in balance, too much and you go on the war path for every perceived slight. You don't look at the facts. Too little and you don't collaborate, participate.

Signs of unhealthy ego…

Being comparative, Comparing is healthy. Judging youself against the Jones' is not. Not everyone is your rival.

Being Defensive. Defending an idea is healthy. Defending and idea as a proxy for defending yourself is not.

Showcasing brilliance. Ideas should stand on there own, not be pushed forward because you are brilliant.

Seeking Acceptance. The truth is the truth, wither it is accepted or not.

Healthy ego…

Humility with intensity and intent

Curiosity

Veracity

The book talks about the concept of treating people with Unconditional Positive Regard-- the idea that everyone is worthy of respect and capable of contribution, even when they don't particularly act that way or feel that way about themselves. Stress on the "Unconditional." UPR is not about Positive Regard until someone proves they don't deserve it. UPR is Unconditional.

UPR reminds me of "Leadership and Self Deception." and treating someone outside the box. To me, UPR was a more clear statement of what "Leadership and Self Deception" is trying to communicate.

Channel Intensity from identity to ideas.

DPA-- Diffuse Physiological Arousal-- when someone accidentally pushes one of our buttons, and we feel we are under attack. This is very hard to avoid. As a speaker, you have to be aware that your speech and send someone into DPA. Use open statements. Focus on ideas.  As a listener you must be aware that you can be sent into DPA with an unintentional comment. The solution is to channel intensity from identity to ideas.

Don't be afraid of saying what you think (But avoid DPA)
Establish permission
Make your intent clear
be candid