Sunday, October 26, 2025

The Fifth Business

By Robertson Davis

I grew up in Ontario and get back to it regularly, A high school friend of mine described this book as the most Ontario book ever. 

I agree. The village where the book begins could be the village where I grew up, with too many churches,  disrespect between their members, the gravel pit where all the parties happened, and the children who had no exceptional future unless they left for the big cities. 

The book is very readable and enjoyable. There are other books in the series. I'll go through them all.

Some other things for me to take away...

Even though the book was published in the early 70's, The author makes jokes about yet another business-man turned politician who runs on the platform of bringing sound business principles to government, yet finds once he's elected, that that is not the way a government can be run. 

There is also the mention of that low-level insecurity in the back of many Canadian heads, that they are not good enough, that they don't compare well to other citizens and other countries. 

Saturday, October 18, 2025

The Care Of Self

By Michel Foucault

This book, focused on the Hellenistic and early Roman world, is not about comfort. It’s about craft.

The famous command is, of course, "Know Thyself." From Socrates or the oracle.

Foucault shows there was an older, deeper urgency. "Take Care of Thyself." Epimeleia heautou.

This wasn't just preparatory work. It was the essential moral act. It had to be continuous. Lifelong.

The care was the knowledge.

We tend to think of ethics as a list of rules. Or a moment of choice.

Foucault excavates the forgotten technology: the daily, quiet, repeatable tasks that shape the self.

The Stoics weren't interested in confession. They wanted mastery. Not over others, but over the self. The passionate, reactive, impulsive self.

How?

Through the HypomnΔ“mata. The spiritual notebook. A journal that wasn't for expression, but for weapons.

You record maxims. You copy wisdom. You write down the unexpected thing that happened, and then you rehearse the ethical response for next time. A sudden outburst of anger. A flash of fear. You write it down not to understand its root (that’s modern psychology), but to nullify its power in the future.

Writing and reflecting is essential.

The care of the self, for the Stoics, was a practice of freedom. Not the large, dramatic freedom of revolution or political choice, but the smaller, more immediate freedom:

Freedom from impulse. Freedom from chance. Freedom from being a slave to your own worst reaction.

It’s a deliberate art of not letting the self be merely a result of history, habit, or desire.

It’s an exercise in self-making. A quiet refusal to be finished.

This lines up with Goldsmith’s daily self review. I have also failed to do that.

“ to love is a greater boon than to be loved.”

“ Love rescues us from all errors that wreck or impaired wedlock.”

Wednesday, October 15, 2025

The Sovereignty of Good

By Iris Murdoch's The Sovereignty of Good. 

This is a dense academic philosophical work, Murdoch wrote it to join in the complex debates of moral philosophers, making it less of a direct "guide for life" than I might have hoped.

The core ideas that emerge are practical and relevant to how we approach moral living.

Murdoch’s philosophy begins with a critique of the prevailing moral view she calls the "Man of Will." This view sees the moral agent as a solitary, rational being whose goodness is expressed purely through a sovereign act of choice or will.

Her critique has three points. First, it neglects the inner life: By focusing solely on the moment of external action or choice, this view ignores the continuous, private work of consciousness that precedes action. 

Second, it’s falsely optimistic: It fails to account for how difficult, contentious, and time-consuming the effort to be good actually is. It doesn't take seriously the human tendency toward ignorance and selfishness. 

Third, it isolates the agent: It ignores the fundamental reality of being surrounded by other free people, whose wills we cannot control and whose realities we must acknowledge.

Instead of an arbitrary will, Murdoch reintroduces the Platonic idea of the Good as an objective, transcendent reality. Though she avoids traditional religious metaphysics, she argues that the Good is a unifying value that reveals truth.

For Murdoch, moral effort is, fundamentally, an attempt to see the world, and especially other people, clearly and justly. It is not about doing a good action in a vacuum, but about seeing things rightly.

This shift makes attention the central moral task. Murdoch describes the root of our moral failure as the fat, relentless ego, which constantly spins self-centered fantasies that obscure reality. 

Attention as Virtue: Moral improvement comes from continually and slowly attempting to see reality as it truly is, independent of one's own desires, fears, or fantasies. This is a slow, difficult, and continual process, not a sudden, simple choice. This attentive shift away from the self towards reality is what Murdoch calls "Unselfing." It is the movement from ego-centric fantasy toward realism.

Murdoch illustrates this with the example of a mother-in-law who privately judges her son's wife as coarse and vulgar. There are no outward conflicts—the moral drama happens entirely inside the mother-in-law's mind. Through disciplined, internal attention and self-critique, the mother-in-law gradually comes to see the daughter-in-law not as "vulgar," but as genuinely "spontaneous and delightfully youthful." This moral change occurs before any outward action, demonstrating that the quality of inner vision is the real source of virtue.

To attain this clear vision, Murdoch emphasizes several virtues.

Humility: This is not self-abasement, but a "selfless respect for reality." It is the difficult recognition that the world is chancy, contingent, and does not revolve around oneself. It is the prerequisite for clear seeing.

Love: Love is defined as the "difficult realization that something other than oneself is real." It is the energy that drives the soul's search for the Good, and its purified form is synonymous with goodness.

Beauty and Art: Contemplating beauty in art and nature is one way to practice unselfing, as it demands unselfish attention and provides a momentary, vivid experience of objective reality outside the grasping self.

In summary, The Sovereignty of Good argues for a form of virtue ethics that shifts the focus from the public act of will to the private, continuous, and difficult work of attention and the purification of consciousness, all directed by the objective, magnetic reality of the Good

"The chief enemy of excellence in morality (and also in art) is personal fantasy: the tissue of self-aggrandizing and consoling wishes and dreams which presents one from seeing what is there outside one. Rike said of Cezanne that he did not paint 'I like it.", he pained 'There it is."

"In intellectual disciplines and in the enjoyment of art and nature, we discover value in our ability to forget self, to be realistic, to perceive justly. We use our imagination not to escape the world, but to join it, and this exhilarates us because of the distance between our ordinary dulled consciousness and an apprehension of the real."

'a wheel that can be turned though nothing else moves with it is not part of the mechanism.'

Wednesday, September 24, 2025

Reading Plan

My discussion with AI on ready philosophers that agree and disagree with my philosophical feelings and intuitions. 



πŸ—“️ Month-by-Month Breakdown

Month 1 – The Moral Practice of Attention

  • πŸ“˜ Iris MurdochThe Sovereignty of Good

  • ➕ Optional: Her essay “On ‘God’ and ‘Good’” (available online)

  • ✍️ Prompt: “What do I see clearly, and what do I distort? What does love require of my attention?”


Month 2 – Creating Your Own Values

  • πŸ“˜ Friedrich NietzscheThe Gay Science

  • ➕ Optional: Walter Kaufmann’s intro or audio lectures

  • ✍️ Prompt: “What inherited values do I still follow, even if they no longer serve me?”


Month 3 – Feeling as Knowing

  • πŸ“˜ Martha NussbaumUpheavals of Thought (intro + selected chapters on love and compassion)

  • ➕ Optional: Her The Therapy of Desire (skim opening if you like)

  • ✍️ Prompt: “What emotions teach me the most about how to live? When have I ignored them?”


Month 4 – On Power, Control, and Freedom

  • πŸ“˜ Michel FoucaultDiscipline and Punish (read Part 1 & 3)

  • ➕ Optional: YouTube series “Foucault Explained Simply”

  • ✍️ Prompt: “Where am I internalizing control? Where do I mistake freedom for conformity?”


Month 5 – Kindness as Rebellion

  • πŸ“˜ Albert CamusThe Plague

  • ➕ Optional: His essay The Myth of Sisyphus

  • ✍️ Prompt: “What do I persist in doing, even when it seems absurd or thankless?”


Month 6 – Moral Complexity in Practice

  • πŸ“˜ Hannah ArendtEichmann in Jerusalem

  • ➕ Optional: Short podcast “The Banality of Evil Explained” (BBC, In Our Time)

  • ✍️ Prompt: “What decisions do I make thoughtlessly? What systems do I uphold?”


Month 7 – Dignity, Flourishing, and Capability

  • πŸ“˜ Martha NussbaumCreating Capabilities

  • ➕ Optional: Compare your own values with her 10 Central Capabilities

  • ✍️ Prompt: “What do I need—not want—to truly flourish?”


Month 8 – Sacred Simplicity

  • πŸ“˜ Simone WeilWaiting for God

  • ➕ Optional: Gravity and Grace (as daily devotional fragments)

  • ✍️ Prompt: “When was the last time I paid full attention without trying to fix anything?”


Month 9 – Play, Doubt, and Identity

  • πŸ“˜ Zadie SmithFeel Free (selected essays: “On Optimism and Despair,” “Northwest London Blues,” etc.)

  • ➕ Optional: Intimations (shorter, meditative)

  • ✍️ Prompt: “What do I know for sure? What am I still figuring out about myself?”


Month 10 – Political Joy and Personal Ethics

  • πŸ“˜ CamusThe Rebel (skim core sections; don’t get lost in the references)

  • ✍️ Prompt: “How do I resist harm—not with anger, but with dignity?”


Month 11 – Seeing Others Without Ego

  • πŸ“˜ Iris MurdochExistentialists and Mystics (selected essays)

  • ✍️ Prompt: “What kind of life would be good enough? Who gets to decide?”


Month 12 – Integration Month

  • πŸ“˜ Revisit highlights, write a reflective essay or creative piece.

  • ✍️ Prompt: “What have I kept? What have I discarded? What am I building now?”


πŸ““ Tools for Engagement

ToolDescription
JournalKeep one thread for summaries, another for personal reflections. Don’t combine.
Margin MethodIn physical books, mark: ! (surprise), ✱ (important), ? (confusion), ♡ (resonance).
Quarterly Check-inRevisit your values every 3 months. What has shifted? What’s firmer?

πŸ”„ Variations

If time is short:

  • Read the first 2 chapters and a final section of longer works.

  • Use audiobooks or summaries to supplement tougher texts (esp. Foucault, Arendt).

  • Substitute fiction (Murdoch’s The Bell or Camus’s The Fall) when in need of variety.

If time is plentiful:

  • Add companion thinkers: bell hooks (All About Love), Emmanuel Levinas, or Rebecca Solnit.


Would you like this turned into a printable one-pager, spreadsheet tracker, or Notion template? I can prepare that for you next.

πŸ“š Reading Brief: Philosophers Who Will Deepen Your Thinking

I asked an AI to review my blogs and suggest a brief on philosophers who align with my beliefs.  

1. Iris Murdoch – The Moral Life as Clear Vision

🧭 Contribution:

Murdoch believes that goodness begins with attention—not as a fuzzy feeling, but as the rigorous, almost sacred act of seeing others clearly, without distortion by ego or habit.

πŸ“˜ Reading List:

  • The Sovereignty of Good – her central work on moral perception, love, and the unselfing power of beauty.

  • Existentialists and Mystics – essays that tie art, morality, and spiritual seriousness together.

  • The Nice and the Good – a novel that explores these themes through character and plot.

🌱 How She Deepens You:

  • Your emphasis on attention and presence becomes not just personal, but moral.

  • Your attraction to joy and beauty is reframed as serious moral training—not escapism.

  • Murdoch gives you a framework for humility without self-erasure.

“Love is the extremely difficult realisation that something other than oneself is real.”


2. Martha Nussbaum – Flourishing, Emotion, and Human Dignity

🧭 Contribution:

Nussbaum works at the intersection of philosophy, psychology, literature, and justice. She brings ancient ideas (especially from Aristotle and the Stoics) into modern contexts—defining what it means to live well with others.

πŸ“˜ Reading List:

  • The Fragility of Goodness – on how chance, emotion, and tragedy affect moral life.

  • Upheavals of Thought – a deep exploration of how emotions carry ethical knowledge.

  • Creating Capabilities – outlines her “capabilities approach” to human dignity, justice, and policy.

🌱 How She Deepens You:

  • She shows that being a good person includes feeling deeply, not transcending emotion.

  • She reframes your value of thriving not as productivity, but as capability—the real freedom to be and do.

  • Nussbaum is especially clarifying on the moral role of literature and imagination.

“Compassion is not a weakness. It is a form of moral intelligence.”


3. Simone Weil – Attention as Moral & Spiritual Act

🧭 Contribution:

Weil gives an almost mystical intensity to ideas of care, attention, and justice. She argues that true attention is the basis of both education and love—and that justice requires absolute humility.

πŸ“˜ Reading List:

  • Gravity and Grace – fragments and aphorisms on suffering, grace, and the soul.

  • Waiting for God – letters and reflections on moral philosophy and the divine.

  • The Need for Roots – more political, but useful for understanding belonging and obligation.

🌱 How She Deepens You:

  • She gives spiritual weight to your attentiveness—without requiring religion.

  • She shows that moral clarity requires silence, stillness, and surrender—not assertion.

  • If you're drawn to care work, caregiving, or quiet moral labor, Weil affirms that work’s sacredness.

“Attention, taken to its highest degree, is the same thing as prayer.”


4. Albert Camus – Clarity, Joy, and Moral Rebellion in an Absurd World

🧭 Contribution:

Camus famously said the world is absurd, but his response isn’t nihilism—it’s lucid revolt and ethical decency without illusions. He affirms joy, honesty, and kindness even when the universe offers no reward.

πŸ“˜ Reading List:

  • The Myth of Sisyphus – Camus’s core text on absurdism and personal meaning.

  • The Plague – a novel that turns public health crisis into an allegory of moral resistance.

  • The Rebel – a deeper dive into political and moral rebellion.

🌱 How He Deepens You:

  • You want to be happy and a good person; Camus says: do it anyway—even when the world doesn’t cooperate.

  • He encourages joy, clarity, and moral limits in the face of darkness—a defiant ethical light.

  • He frames resistance not as aggression but as steadfast decency.

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.”


5. Zadie Smith – Literary Attention & Ethical Self-Interrogation

🧭 Contribution:

Smith is primarily a novelist and essayist, but her work is quietly philosophical—exploring identity, cultural responsibility, and the slipperiness of the self.

πŸ“˜ Reading List:

  • Feel Free – essays on writing, belief, identity, and being a good person in public.

  • Intimations – essays written during the pandemic; reflective, compact, humane.

🌱 How She Deepens You:

  • She affirms the role of self-questioning as part of moral life.

  • She blends humor, doubt, and dignity in ways that make moral reflection feel livable.

  • Smith is a good companion for ethical growth in a noisy, digital, pluralistic world.

“Time is how you spend your love.”


🧱 Summary Table: Strengtheners of Your Values

PhilosopherDeepens Which Value(s)?Method
Iris MurdochMoral attention, love, clarityMoral vision as "unselfing"
Martha NussbaumCompassion, flourishing, dignityEmotions as ethical knowledge
Simone WeilRadical attentiveness, humilityJustice through silent presence
Albert CamusIntegrity, rebellion, joyMeaning in the face of absurdity
Zadie SmithSelf-awareness, ethical doubtArtful reflection through story

πŸͺž Why These Philosophers Matter to You

You’re not looking for abstraction for its own sake—you’re trying to live well. These philosophers help by:

  • Affirming your instinct to care, attend, and reflect.

  • Giving moral weight to presence, emotion, and art.

  • Offering resistance to despair or shallow thinking—without requiring dogma.

They don’t hand you rules; they give you tools. They are companions in the kind of life you already want to lead—just with more depth, courage, and clarity.


Would you like this turned into a reading sequence with journaling prompts, or integrated with a broader life philosophy document? I can also help you cross-map this list with the challenging thinkers, if you're looking to build a “philosophical diet.”

πŸ“š Reading Brief: Philosophers Who Will Challenge You

I asked an ai to read over my blogs and suggest some philosphers that will challenge me. 

1. Friedrich Nietzsche – The Radical of Value Creation

πŸ”Ž Challenge:

Nietzsche will challenge your commitment to compassion, duty, and shared morality by questioning whether those values serve your life—or suppress it. He argues that much of what we call “goodness” comes from resentment, conformity, or fear rather than strength or creativity.

πŸ“˜ Reading List:

  • The Gay Science – poetic, aphoristic, full of joy and provocation. Nietzsche at his most exploratory.

  • Beyond Good and Evil – deeper critique of moral systems, Christian humility, and the idea of objective truth.

  • Thus Spoke Zarathustra – semi-narrative, allegorical philosophy. Beautiful but intense.

πŸ’₯ How You'll Be Challenged:

  • You value kindness; Nietzsche asks if it’s masking timidity or self-denial.

  • You cherish meaning; he asks if it’s a lie you inherited.

  • You want to thrive; he says: then create new values, don’t inherit them.

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how."
—Nietzsche, but also a pivot: what happens when the why dissolves?


2. Hannah Arendt – The Politics of Thoughtlessness

πŸ”Ž Challenge:

Arendt will challenge your idea of being “a good person” as sufficient. She warns that evil isn’t only found in malice—it can arise from ordinary people failing to think, follow orders, or avoid difficult conversations.

πŸ“˜ Reading List:

  • The Human Condition – analysis of work, labor, action, and how public life creates moral consequences.

  • Eichmann in Jerusalem – study of the “banality of evil,” where she controversially argued that Nazi official Eichmann was less a monster than a bureaucrat.

  • Responsibility and Judgment (essays) – condensed reflections on how moral action emerges from thought.

πŸ’₯ How You'll Be Challenged:

  • You write about kindness, attention, presence; Arendt will ask if you’ve taken enough responsibility for the structures you live in.

  • She will push you from the personal to the political, from the emotional to the consequential.

“The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.”


3. Michel Foucault – Power, Selfhood, and Hidden Control

πŸ”Ž Challenge:

Foucault doesn’t believe in fixed “truths.” He believes our very ideas of normality, health, goodness, and even selfhoodare shaped by power systems: schools, prisons, hospitals, bureaucracies. You are being shaped—even when you think you're choosing.

πŸ“˜ Reading List:

  • Discipline and Punish – how modern society uses surveillance, norms, and institutions to control bodies.

  • The History of Sexuality (Vol. 1) – on how even liberation discourses are shaped by systems of power.

  • The Care of the Self – a late work where he turns toward ancient philosophy and ethical self-cultivation.

πŸ’₯ How You'll Be Challenged:

  • You value moral clarity and reflection. Foucault will ask:

    • Where did those values come from?

    • Who taught you to think this way?

    • Is “care” another kind of discipline?

  • He wants you to suspect the very framework of your thinking—especially what looks neutral or natural.

"Where there is power, there is resistance."
He doesn't mean rebellion—he means even your joy and discipline are part of a structure. Will you see it?


🧱 Summary Table: Challenge at a Glance

PhilosopherPrimary ChallengeCore Question
NietzscheChallenges inherited morality and moral humilityAre your values life-affirming, or are they survival mechanisms?
ArendtChallenges the sufficiency of private virtueAre you thinking politically, or simply living comfortably?
FoucaultChallenges the neutrality of your self and choicesWho shaped your “freedom”? What systems do you embody?

🎯 Why These Challenges Matter to You

You’ve expressed a desire to:

  • Be a good person (Arendt asks what kind of good, and to whom).

  • Take advantage of your opportunities (Nietzsche pushes you to define that ambition on your own terms).

  • Be happy and thriving (Foucault questions whether your definition of “thriving” is freely chosen or culturally imposed).

Together, these thinkers don’t destroy your personal philosophy—they deepen it. They force you to face the unknowns and power dynamics beneath your certainties.


Would you like a reading plan—light to heavy, with pacing and reflection prompts? Or a framework to journal your responses to each? Happy to build either.

Sunday, September 14, 2025

Being Mortal

by Atul Gawande

Eventually we all hit the time in our lives when our bodies stop healing. Can we accept this? What resources will be available to us? How we approach medicine and treatment has to change at this point. Why undergo invasive treatments if you will never fully recover? 

Many doctors don't want to deal with the fact that there comes a time when we will never fully recover from an illness. Unintentional, they advocate for expensive treatments that ultimately won't make a difference. 

This book goes through the history of the assisted living home, the differences between geriatrics and regular medicine. and the shortage of geriatrics specialists that we face.



How to Know a Person

By David Brooks

Lately my mind has been focused on attention and attending to others—as a way to communicate and as morality.

This brings to mind the assassination of Charlie Kirk. I've seen people engage in exhausting text arguments. Note to self: accusing someone of being a "typical Liberal" or a "typical Conservative" doesn't really help anyone communicate.

I have my own struggles here. I'm more of an introvert and enjoy my downtime. But engaging with people—getting to know them—is healthy and good. It's a skill I've been trying to develop for years.

When you get to know them, actually get to know them, see them, understand them—this has to be a safe process. Your goal can't be to get to know someone in order to change them.

Now getting to Brook's wonderful book... Brooks has a deep curiosity about people and he shares the this process. No easy summary here. You have to patiently listen to people, ask open questions, and earn the privilege of deeply knowing someone.

"To be able to understand people and be present for them in their experience-- that's the most important thing in the world."

"Experience is not what happens to you, it's what you do with what happens to you."

"Nothing in life is of any value except the attempt to be virtuous" Murdoch writes "grow by looking."

"During the generative life task, people try to find some way to be of service to the world. One either achieves generatively or one falls into stagnations. Vallant defines generatively as the capacity to foster and guide the next generations."

"Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly thing they are finished."


The Wealth and Poverty of Nations

By David S Landes

A book that tackles the thorny questions "Why did the western world, and its practices, come to dominate the world economy." The book goes through the analysis and narrative of many economies to glean what when right and what went wrong. 

The question is not easily answered and would have different answers depending on which century you asked it in. The relevant question three hundred years ago may have been Why did Spain and Portugal..." The question in the next century may be "Why did China..."

Quotes to remember...

"Three factors cannot coexist (1) a marked disparity of power; (2) private access to the instruments of power; and (3) equality of groups or nations. Where one group is strong enough to push another around and stands to gain by it, it will do so. Even if the sate would abstain from aggression, companies and individuals will not wait for permission. Rather they will act in their own interest, dragging others along, including the state."

"but what mattered in the long run (never forget the long run) were those small low-risk gains that add up and do not disappoint."

"I am skeptical, however, of this effort to conflate personal confusion with larger causation."

"No one likes to be told (reminded) that his failures are due to his failings; or that his sources of pride are vices rather than virtues."

"Don't do as I did; do as I can afford to do now. The advice does not always sit well."

"One cannot always discern the boundaries between curiosity, exploration and outright spying. A leading student of the subject writes that "many foreigners... gathered useful intelligence without ever doing anything underhand.:

"Injustice perceived is injustice felt. Men are not moved by bread alone."

"The problem with such rationality is that today's good sense may be tomorrow's mistake. Development is long; logic, short. The economic theory is static, based on conditions of the day. The process is dynamic, building on today's absence to tomorrow's abundance."

On giving large loans to developing countries...

"Cynic may say that dependency doctrines have been Latin America's most successful exports. Meanwhile they are bad for effort and moral, By fostering a morbid propensity to find fault with everyone but oneself, they promote economic impotence. Even if they were true, it would be better to stow them.."

"violence is the quintessential, testosterone expression of mail entitlement."

"British management saw bonus systems as a way of economizing on management. Never underestimate the leisure preference of bosses, any more than of workers."


Tuesday, August 26, 2025

Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore

By Matthew Sullivan

I've read my share of idiot plots—stories where a single adult conversation would solve everything. Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore suffers from that affliction.

And yet, the mystery is a fun ride. The twists are clever, and if you squint, they almost hold together. But the whole thing is built on the silent, willful refusal of two people to simply talk to each other until crisis draws them together again. 


Sunday, August 24, 2025

Murder on the Orient Express

By Agatha Christie

I’ve already seen the movie so why read the book? To see how Christy expertly spins a narrative that cleverly weaves in the clues. The book allows you to mull things over as the mystery unfolds. Movies keep their own time and you miss things if you blink. 

Sunday, August 10, 2025

Tourist Season – Carl Hiaasen

In Florida, a trash private detective chases trashy murderers, killing trashy victims in trashy ways for trashy reasons.

Fantastic low-brow fun. Occasionally gruesome, but never enough to spoil the ride.


Station Eleven – Emily St. John MandeL

A great bit of post-apocalyptic speculative fiction. Most post-apocalyptic stories pick up many years after the collapse of society. Not Station Eleven. Its touching narrative tunnels through the hours, days, months, and years before and after a lethal flu wipes out most of humanity.


Thursday, July 17, 2025

Your Money or Your Life...

By Vicki Robin

Be frugal. Time is money. Look at your money as hours of life-- when you buy things, you really are trading off your fee time. Is it worth it?

This book advocates for a much more rigorous budget tracking and spending process than I currently have. I'm lucky in that I'm naturally frugal and live far below my income.

Sunday, July 6, 2025

A Hidden Wholeness

By Parker Palmer

My quest to learn more about the strength of being non-judgmental takes me here. Palmer teaches about conversion circles where one must not speak to fix, save or advise. 

“This is the first and wisest thing I know, that the soul exists and that it is built entirely out of attentiveness.” Mary Oliver

“No fixing, no saving, no advising, no setting each otjer straight.”


Friday, June 20, 2025

The Brain-Dead Megaphone

I keep rereading the essay "Thought Experiment" by George Saunders.

"If, at the moment when someone cuts us off in traffic or breaks our heart or begins bombing our ancestral village, we could withdraw from judging mode, and enter this other, more accepting mode, we would, paradoxically, make ourselves more powerful. By resisting the urge to reduce, in order to subsequently destroy, we keep alive--if only for a few seconds more--the possibility of transformation."

For some time, I've been struggling to wrap my head around people who label others as "bad" or "evil." I think this essay explains my struggles well. By blaming others, by deciding we are victims, we back away from our obligation to transform ourselves and take action.

I see this in many debates, and it clouds our thinking. Take the debate on undocumented/illegal workers. Deporting them ignores the fact that the U.S. is a rich country next to a poor country. The economies and cultures have been integrated and porous for centuries. Americans are eager customers for drugs and cheap labor. We aren't charging the employers of undocumented labor. Building walls has failed. Deporting undocumented immigrants isn't actually addressing the causes of the problems. It lets us point the finger at a villain and stop taking responsibility for ourselves and the world we have created.

Our rush to judgment closes the doors we want to open. Transformation happens when we resist our urge to fix, save, or advise.

Thursday, June 5, 2025

Street Trees of Seattle: An Illustrated Walking Guide

By Taha Ebrahimi

A good local read. The book covers notable public trees of Seattle. Largest Yew, Fir, Sequoia for example. 

Thursday, May 15, 2025

Every now and then Tycho writes something that perfectly balances depth and wit.

https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2025/05/14/parts-per-million

...people we don't like will sometimes be correct. Because we live in a world largely made of information now, we can curate ourselves utterly out of any functional mode of self-correction. It hasn't made us any smarter, and when we become aware of just how thoroughly we have invested ourselves in illusion it falls on you like a guillotine.
It's medicine. Of course you don't like the taste.

Monday, May 5, 2025

And, I'm on an AI role. I've worked with a couple AIs to create a set of questions that will my husband and I plan our future. My plan is to bring these up over a few dinners with my Husband. There are many questions here and it will take time.  






Session 1: Connection and Appreciation

Goal: Reconnect emotionally and appreciate each other’s uniqueness.

What’s something about me you feel people don’t see—but you do?
  1. When did you first feel truly at home with me?
  2. What habits of mine make you feel cared for?
  3. How do you think our relationship has changed over the last 10 years?
  4. What do you wish we did together more often?
  5. What’s something you feel we’ve overcome together?
  6. When was the last time I made you feel really understood?

Session 2: Shared Dreams and Divergences


Goal: Uncover each partner’s ideal retirement lifestyle and negotiate shared rhythms.

  1. What does your ideal day look like in retirement—from waking up to going to bed?
  2. What’s something I enjoy that you don’t—but you’ve tried (or would be willing to try) for my sake?
  3. What’s something you wish I’d try or do more often with you—even if it’s outside my comfort zone?
  4. What kind of social life do you want in retirement? What would feel “just right” to you?
  5. What’s your biggest hope for our retirement life? What’s your biggest worry?
  6. If we traveled together regularly—say, two times a year? Four?—where would you want to go, and why?
  7. What home-based project or hobby would you like to dive deeper into?
  8. How can we support each other in making time for the things we love—even when they’re different?

Session 3: Money, Health, and Caregiving

Goal: Build clarity and partnership around future responsibilities and resources—without losing your sense of “us.”

  1. What are you most willing to cut back on in retirement—and what feels non-negotiable?
  2. What health changes do you anticipate over the next 10 years, and what worries you most? How can we support each other through those changes—emotionally and practically?
  3. What role do you want to play in caring for our parent(s) over the next 5 years? What do you hope I understand about that?
  4. How do you feel about the idea of needing care yourself someday? How can we prepare emotionally?
  5. If we needed to adjust our home or routines for health reasons, what would feel supportive vs. stifling?
  6. What financial or legal steps do we still need to take to protect each other and our families?
  7. How can we keep conversations about money and aging open, loving, and low-drama?

Session 4: Legacy, Meaning, and How We Spend Our Time

Goal: Shape your time in retirement around fulfillment, contribution, and connection.

  1. What gives your life meaning right now? How has that changed in the last decade?
  2. Are there skills or passions you’ve never had time to pursue that you'd like to explore now?
  3. What does “a good use of time” mean to you in retirement?
  4. What kind of creative or intellectual stimulation would you like to keep in your life?
  5. How can we support each other in doing things separately that still strengthen our bond?
  6. What’s one thing you’d love for us to try just once this year—no matter how small or silly?

Session 5: Rituals, Intimacy, and Everyday Connection

Goal: Weave emotional closeness into daily life through small, intentional choices.

  1. What small things do I do that make you feel loved?
  2. What are our current rituals that bring us closer—and which ones have faded that you miss?
  3. What kind of physical affection feels most nourishing to you these days?
  4. What does “intimacy” mean to you now? How has that changed over time?
  5. What’s a weekly ritual we could start that would help us feel more like a team?
  6. When you want to feel closer to me, what do you hope I’ll notice or do?
  7. What’s something you’d like to experience together in the next 12 months that we haven’t done before?
  8. How can we keep reminding ourselves that our relationship is still evolving, still worth growing?

Would you like this formatted into a printable PDF or shared in a text file for easy reference?

I asked an AI to read my blogs and then, acting as a life coach, offer me constructive criticism...

I've been following your writing on both Brain Dump and Too Much Philosophy. It's clear you're a reflective, emotionally intelligent person with a rich interior life. You’re paying attention—to your relationships, your environment, your aging, your values. That’s a rare and valuable trait. But from a coaching perspective, I see a few areas where you could benefit from greater intentionality and forward momentum. Let’s break that down.


πŸ” 1. Get Clarity on What You Really Want From Retirement

You're circling around retirement—commenting on friends’ choices, exploring literature about purpose, and reflecting on identity shifts. But you seem hesitant to declare your own direction.

  • Constructive push: Write a personal “retirement manifesto.” Not about what you don’t want (e.g., moving to Florida permanently), but what you do want. Travel? Part-time creative work? More time mentoring or volunteering? Define it clearly.

  • Prompt: “In five years, what does a great day look like for me?”


🧭 2. Move From Observation to Action

You observe your friends, family, and community with care and nuance. But I notice that your reflections often stop just short of commitment. For example, in your financial posts, you acknowledge your partner’s stress over the mortgage—but what’s the next step?

  • Constructive push: Every insight should lead to a plan. What’s the mortgage payoff plan? Are you working with a financial advisor? What timeline makes early retirement possible? Document it.

  • Prompt: “What is the next concrete step I can take toward peace of mind?”


πŸ’¬ 3. Rebuild Social Infrastructure Intentionally

You’ve noted the decline or dispersion of your social circle—friends moving away, or the isolation that sometimes accompanies aging. But meaningful connection is something you can still actively create.

  • Constructive push: You’re good at reflection—now add structure. Join or start a reading group, a walking club, or even a small online forum of retirees exploring purpose. Proactive effort will yield the connection you miss.

  • Prompt: “Who do I feel nourished by—and how often do I reach out to them?”


🧠 4. Turn Intellectual Curiosity Into Personal Growth Projects

Your book blog reveals a sharp mind and an appetite for ideas—but there's often a gap between reading and integration. For instance, in How to Do Nothing, you connect with Odell’s critique of attention capitalism—but how has it changed your day-to-day life?

  • Constructive push: For each book you finish, distill one actionable change you’ll try, even temporarily. Then reflect on it in a follow-up post. Let your blog become a space of experiments, not just observations.

  • Prompt: “What is one practice from this book I can try for a week?”


❤️ 5. Have the Courage to Explore Intimacy and Vulnerability More Deeply

Whether it's your post about Valentine’s Day conversations or aging parents, you brush up against vulnerability—but sometimes skirt it. Don’t just write about connection. Go deeper.

  • Constructive push: What hard conversation have you been avoiding—with your partner, a sibling, a friend? Schedule it. Then reflect on it. These are the growth edges that will shape the next phase of your life.

  • Prompt: “What’s a truth I haven’t spoken out loud yet?”


πŸ›€️ Final Thought

You’re at a powerful crossroads—not lost, but underdefined. The next decade can be the most fulfilling yet, if you stop asking what should I react to? and start answering what do I want to lead with?

You don’t need more insight—you need more alignment between what you know and how you live.

Let’s build that alignment.

Warmly,
Your Life Coach



In bullet point form...

  • Define your retirement vision: Don’t just avoid what you don’t want—declare what you do want.

  • Turn reflection into action: Follow every insight with a concrete next step.

  • Create a retirement roadmap: Clarify your financial, housing, and timeline plans with specifics.

  • Rebuild your social network: Intentionally reconnect or create new, meaningful relationships.

  • Experiment with your reading: Apply one idea from each book and reflect on the result.

  • Structure your growth: Use tools like a weekly self-review or journaling framework.

  • Explore vulnerability: Lean into hard conversations and emotional honesty.

  • Live more intentionally: Design days that reflect your values and desired lifestyle.

  • Engage more deeply with community: Join or start groups that share your interests.

  • Let your blogs evolve: Shift from commentary to personal experiments and leadership.

  • Align insight with lifestyle: Match your deep thinking with purposeful living.




  • Monday, April 28, 2025

    Fire Weather

    By John Valliant.

    Fire weather is largely the story of the world’s largest wildfire, which took place in 2016 and consumed much of Fort McMurray Alberta. Valliant writes about this in intense and extended detail. 

    It also covers climate change, and how humanity is building more into the wilderness, both of which increase the impact of wildfires. About once a century, the Boreal forest in northern Canada and Russia has always burnt down. What could go wrong with building new cities up there?

    Climate change and its impacts is unsettling. Even if I go all green, what I can do will have very little discernible impact on the long-term outcome. I have to focus on the small changes and be prepared for the cynics who point out how ineffective all of this is. 

    It's easy to be cynical. 

    Sunday, April 13, 2025

    The Truth

    By Terry Pratchett. A Discworld novel.

    I have a mixed relationship with Pratchett’s Discworld series; some books delight me, while others fall flat.

    This one was good. It centers on Discworld's first newspaper, which has as much sensational gossip as actual news.

    As a fantasy series, Discworld is brimming with all sorts of outlandish creations. Interestingly, the author occasionally points out that a particular fabrication has a real-world counterpart.

    I also enjoyed the zombie obituaries, which humorously detailed their adventures since their deaths.

    Monday, March 17, 2025

    Polostan

    By Neal Stephenson.

    I'm unsure about this book. It's a good read. Chapter by chapter it is very compelling. Dawn is a fantastic character. And then it just ends. Sure, she is in a bit of a predicament, but there is little overall mystery and there have been so many twists and turns along the way that I don't doubt that Dawn will escape.  

    Elsewhere online, I see that Stephenson is planning to start a series with Polestan being the first book.

    Death's End

    By Liu Cixin.

    A good end to the Three Body Problem trilogy. The book is an enjoyable read. If I have any beef with the book it's that Cixin wanted to write more about the books theme's, than about the plot. At some point, about 2/3rds of the way through the book, the villains, the Trisolarians, just leave and they are never really heard from again. We never learn much about them. Of course the Trisolarians were never the point of the story. The point is to dive into the harsh realities of cosmic sociology, where civilizations must remain hidden or risk annihilation in a ruthless, Darwinian universe.

    Monday, March 3, 2025

    The Last Thing He Told Me

    By Laura Dave.

    A fun and readable family mystery. After his employer is accused of fraud, a father sends his wife and his daughter cryptic messages and then vanishes. 

    Thursday, January 23, 2025

    How To Do Nothing

    By Jenny Odell.

    Odell wants us to disengage from the attention economy and spend more time focusing on things that are important to you, you personally. She bristles at the thought of using this time to be more productive-- more productive according to who? For what reasons?

    Your time is yours to spend. Odell urges us to use it to engage more with the world, with nature, with society, with your friends. To deeply pay attention to things, To use our will to maintain sustained attention. To build our will to guide our attention and stave off distraction. Maybe we should focus on things longer, rather than turn away the moment we become fidgety. 

    After reflecting on this book for a few days, I've concluded that it is mature- grown up. Rather than preaching a system that will make everything better, Odell accepts that the tough parts of life and can't be cleanly cut away from the positive. 

     "It's tempting to conclude this book with a single recommendation about how to live. But I refuse to do that. That's because the pitfalls of the attention economy can't be avoided by logging off and refusing the influence of persuasive design techniques; they also emerge at the intersection of issues of public space, environmental, politics, class and race."

    "I would be surprised if anyone who bought this book actually wants to do nothing. Only the most nihilist and coldhearted of us feels that there is nothing to do."

    "peace is an endless negotiation amongst free-acting agents whose wills cannot be engineered."

    "I think we also found the answer to the universe, which was, quite simply; spend more time with your friends."

    "A lot of people withdraw from society, as an experiment... So I thought I would withdraw and see how enlightening it would be. But I found out that it's not enlightening. I think that what you're supposed to do is stay in the midst of life." --Agnes Martin



    Monday, January 20, 2025

    The Maltese falcon

    By Dashiell Hammett

    The most famous of all hard-boiled detective novels, "The Maltese Falcon" is a fun read. The plot revolves around an intricate web of deception, as private investigator Sam Spade navigates through conflicting accounts from various characters. What makes the story particularly engaging is watching Spade piece together the truth by comparing different versions of events, weighing what each character claims to know against what actually transpired.

    Reading over other reviews of the Maltese Falcon, I see that all characters are only described through their appearance, their words and their actions. At no point does the narrator share their inner thoughts. 

    In addition, main character, Sam Spade, is ultimately a good man even though he flirts with the dark side-- just enough to earn a criminals trust, but never enough it actually do something wrong. This distinction-- a main character vs a morally ambiguous main character is what distinguishes "Hard Boiled" literature from "Noir."



    Monday, January 13, 2025

    THE EARNED LIFE Lose Regret, Choose Fulfillment by Marshall Goldsmith

    by Marshall Goldsmith and Mark Reiter

    Goldsmith is an executive coach. For years, I've admired is writings. Something about this book made me blanch. Maybe it's me fighting against its teachings. 

    Goldsmith focuses on helping successful people become more successful. Emotionally, I don't want to be more successful in the next stage of my life. Part of me just wants to stop.

    Having said that, I look at retirees who have "just stopped" and I am not envious of them. I am unsure what I want for the next stage of my life. 

    So, how does Goldsmith urge us to build the life that we have earned? Some notes...

    Understand yourself. Understand your Motivation (what drives you to get up in the morning), your Ability (having the aptitude and skills required to achieve a goal), your Understanding(knowing what to do and how to do it-- and what not to do) and your Confidence (The belief that you can accomplish what you set out to).

    You also need Support (No one succeeds alone) and a receptive Market (People have to want you are offering)

    Reduce your Choices. Focus on the wildly important. Create a process that drives the right thing for everything else. Alan Mulally's BPR is a great example of how to reduce choices and turn things into a process. You can apply a BPR to your life.

    Six Factors that govern our sense of fulfillment in life:
    • Achievement
    • Engagement
    • Happiness
    • Meaning
    • Purpose
    • Relationships

    Begin with basic questions. "What do I want to do with my life?" or "What can I do that's meaningful?" are not basic. "Where do I want to live?" is basic? "Can I afford this?" is basic. "Who are your heroes?"

    Write down the names of your heroes.
    Write down one-word descriptors of the values and virtues that endear you to them.
    Cross out their names.
    Write your names in their place.


    Think Action/Ambition/Aspriation. Kind of like layered to-do lists...

    Action... what you will do soon (today?)
    Ambition... what you will do this quarter? Year?
    Aspiration... what you want to be eventually.

    Specialize. Find your one trick genius.

    Foster relationships. Help people. Let them help your back. Don't be too business first. 












    Wednesday, January 8, 2025

    The Light Fantastic

    By Terry Pratchett

    A fun fantasy novel from Pratchett‘s Discworld series

    Friday, January 3, 2025

    One The Edge

    Silver's book brings out the ranting nerd in me. It's the kind of work that compels me to engage deeply with its content. While I don't agree with everything, it provides plenty to contemplate.

    The book examines people who think like gamblers (in the most positive sense of the word) – whether they're actual gamblers, venture capitalists, cryptocurrency enthusiasts, startup CEOs, or technologists building potentially world-altering AI.

    Some key insights from the book: People would benefit from taking more calculated risks in their lives. Many avoid risk because they struggle to evaluate it properly. Is there a 1% edge with a 10x payoff? Or is it a one-in-ten-million chance of winning the lottery? Did a penny stock with a weak business plan grow by 10x? Did it collapse? Failing to distinguish the actual risks in these scenarios, and going by your gut or feelings, indicates carelessness rather than calculated risk-taking. Understanding the Kelly Criterion becomes essential here.

    Regarding intuition, Silver suggests you need hundreds or thousands of relevant experiences before truly trusting your gut on a topic. A professional poker player's intuition differs dramatically from an amateur's, and they can cite numerous experiences that shaped their instincts.

    Will AI become so advanced that it destroys us? While the book doesn't provide a definitive answer, it has convinced me otherwise. Though I agree AI will be transformative, the idea that AI will destroy us stems from an oversimplified model of the future – one that assumes powerful future AI might rebel, therefore we should fear it. Silver points out that such simplistic models of the future are almost always wrong.

    Consider this historical parallel: Millennia ago, imagine a philosopher and metallurgist discussing their craft. The philosopher warns that metal will eventually create guns and bombs, suggesting they slow metallurgical progress. The counterargument? Metallurgy would improve lives in countless ways, including providing tools to manage those very weapons. Similarly, AI will enhance our lives while potentially offering solutions to manage destructive AI.

    Silver's interview with SBF during the FTX bankruptcy provides fascinating reading, though my takeaway remains unchanged: there are still no compelling reasons to buy cryptocurrencies.

    The book explores the deeper implications of thinking like a gambler. While investors might reject a startup with ten risks as too dangerous, a CEO views those same ten items as problems to solve. Leaders like Peter Thiel and Elon Musk approach innovation this way – seeing problems as challenges to overcome regardless of risk. They abhor index, insurance or diverse style investing. They could have survivorship bias, though they are billionaires and I am not, so who am I to argue.

    Silver concludes by examining "gamified casino capitalism" – where future technology, including AI, primarily exists to capture our attention (think social media feeds) rather than genuinely improving our lives or economy. Where we invest based on some sort of risk/reward analysis and not because we actually believe in the investment. Silver advocates for a future emphasizing agency (We have meaningful choices in our lives), plurality (Many types of people live and work together), and reciprocity (We help each other).