And, I'm on an AI role. I've worked with a couple AIs to create a set of questions that will my husband and I plan our future. My plan is to bring these up over a few dinners with my Husband. There are many questions here and it will take time.  

Questions That Lead to Our Future

A guided conversation journey for long-term partners planning their next chapter

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Session 1: Foundations – Connection and Appreciation

Reconnect emotionally and celebrate your unique bond

1. What's something about me you feel others don't see—but you do?
2. When did you first feel truly at home with me?
3. What habits of mine make you feel cared for?
4. What do you think I most admire about you?
5. What do you most admire about me?
6. How do you think our relationship has evolved over the years?
7. What do you wish we did together more often?
8. When do you feel most "in sync" with me?
9. What's something you feel we've overcome together?
10. What role does humor play in our connection?
11. When was the last time I made you feel truly understood?
12. What was it like to answer these questions?
13. Did anything surprise you about what I shared?

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Session 2: Shared Dreams and Divergences

Explore your ideal lifestyles and negotiate rhythms that work for both

1. What does your ideal day look like in our next chapter—from waking up to going to bed?
2. If we had a free week together, no responsibilities, what would you most want to do with me?
3. What's something I enjoy that you don't—but you've tried (or would try) for my sake?
4. What's something you wish I'd try more often with you—even if it's outside my comfort zone?
5. What do you picture when you think about us 10 years from now?
6. What kind of social life do you want in the future? What would feel "just right" to you?
7. How do you feel when we're socializing together versus apart?
8. What's your biggest hope for our future life together? What's your biggest worry?
9. What's your "dream trip" we haven't taken yet?
10. How do you feel about solo activities, or one of us pursuing interests without the other?
11. What projects or hobbies would you like to dive deeper into?
12. How can we support each other in making time for the things we love—even when they're different?
13. Where do you wish I understood your perspective better?
14. What's something we disagree on—but you're okay with compromising on?

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Session 3: Money, Health, and Caregiving

Build clarity around future responsibilities and resources

1. What does "living within our means" mean to you emotionally—not just financially?
2. What are you most willing to cut back on—and what feels non-negotiable?
3. What spending makes you feel most like you? What spending makes you feel most like us?
4. What would make financial discussions feel calm and collaborative?
5. What health changes are you anticipating for yourself? What concerns you most?
6. How can I best support you if your health changes—and how would you want to support me?
7. What does aging "gracefully" mean to you?
8. What role do you want to play in caring for your family members? What do you hope I understand about that?
9. How do you feel about the idea of needing care yourself someday?
10. If we needed to adjust our home or routines for health reasons, what would feel supportive versus stifling?
11. What financial or legal steps do we still need to take to protect each other?
12. How can we keep conversations about money and aging open, loving, and low-drama?
13. What did you notice about how we handled this conversation?

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Session 4: Legacy, Meaning, and Time

Shape your future around fulfillment, contribution, and connection

1. What gives your life meaning right now? How has that changed over time?
2. What do you want to be remembered for?
3. When do you feel most useful or needed—and how can we build more of that into our lives?
4. What kinds of volunteer work or community involvement appeal to you?
5. Are there skills or passions you've never had time to pursue?
6. What does "a good use of time" mean to you going forward?
7. How much structure versus spontaneity do you think you'll want each week?
8. Would you want to mentor anyone—or be mentored? In what areas?
9. How can we support each other in doing things separately that still strengthen our bond?
10. What are the needs of our dependents (pets, etc.) as we plan for the future?
11. What kind of creative or intellectual stimulation would you like to maintain?
12. How do you want to keep learning together—or apart?
13. What's one thing you'd love for us to try at least once—no matter how small or silly?
14. What did we each find most meaningful about this conversation?

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Session 5: Rituals, Intimacy, and Connection

Weave emotional closeness into daily life through intentional choices

1. What small things do I do that make you feel loved?
2. What rituals bring us closer—and which ones have faded that you miss?
3. What kind of physical affection feels most nourishing to you these days?
4. What does "intimacy" mean to you now? How has that changed over time?
5. When do you feel most emotionally connected to me?
6. What's a weekly ritual we could start that would help us feel more like a team?
7. What do you need from me when you're feeling overwhelmed?
8. When you want to feel closer to me, what do you hope I'll notice or do?
9. Are there unspoken things you wish we'd talk more openly about?
10. What's something you'd like to experience together that we haven't done before?
11. What can we do when we feel "off" with each other to reset gently?
12. How can we keep reminding ourselves that our relationship is still evolving?
13. If we could design a perfect weekend together, no limits, what would it look like?
14. What song, place, or scent always makes you think of us?
15. What part of tonight's conversation felt the most intimate or surprising?

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Adapted from the "36 Questions That Lead to Love" concept, reimagined for long-term partnerships at transition points. Take your time with these conversations—perhaps one session per week or month. The journey is as important as the destination.

I asked an AI to read my blogs and then, acting as a life coach, offer me constructive criticism...

I've been following your writing on both Brain Dump and Too Much Philosophy. It's clear you're a reflective, emotionally intelligent person with a rich interior life. You’re paying attention—to your relationships, your environment, your aging, your values. That’s a rare and valuable trait. But from a coaching perspective, I see a few areas where you could benefit from greater intentionality and forward momentum. Let’s break that down.

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🔍 1. Get Clarity on What You Really Want From Retirement

You're circling around retirement—commenting on friends’ choices, exploring literature about purpose, and reflecting on identity shifts. But you seem hesitant to declare your own direction.

• Constructive push: Write a personal “retirement manifesto.” Not about what you don’t want (e.g., moving to Florida permanently), but what you do want. Travel? Part-time creative work? More time mentoring or volunteering? Define it clearly.

• Prompt: “In five years, what does a great day look like for me?”

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🧭 2. Move From Observation to Action

You observe your friends, family, and community with care and nuance. But I notice that your reflections often stop just short of commitment. For example, in your financial posts, you acknowledge your partner’s stress over the mortgage—but what’s the next step?

• Constructive push: Every insight should lead to a plan. What’s the mortgage payoff plan? Are you working with a financial advisor? What timeline makes early retirement possible? Document it.

• Prompt: “What is the next concrete step I can take toward peace of mind?”

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💬 3. Rebuild Social Infrastructure Intentionally

You’ve noted the decline or dispersion of your social circle—friends moving away, or the isolation that sometimes accompanies aging. But meaningful connection is something you can still actively create.

• Constructive push: You’re good at reflection—now add structure. Join or start a reading group, a walking club, or even a small online forum of retirees exploring purpose. Proactive effort will yield the connection you miss.

• Prompt: “Who do I feel nourished by—and how often do I reach out to them?”

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🧠 4. Turn Intellectual Curiosity Into Personal Growth Projects

Your book blog reveals a sharp mind and an appetite for ideas—but there's often a gap between reading and integration. For instance, in How to Do Nothing, you connect with Odell’s critique of attention capitalism—but how has it changed your day-to-day life?

• Constructive push: For each book you finish, distill one actionable change you’ll try, even temporarily. Then reflect on it in a follow-up post. Let your blog become a space of experiments, not just observations.

• Prompt: “What is one practice from this book I can try for a week?”

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❤️ 5. Have the Courage to Explore Intimacy and Vulnerability More Deeply

Whether it's your post about Valentine’s Day conversations or aging parents, you brush up against vulnerability—but sometimes skirt it. Don’t just write about connection. Go deeper.

• Constructive push: What hard conversation have you been avoiding—with your partner, a sibling, a friend? Schedule it. Then reflect on it. These are the growth edges that will shape the next phase of your life.

• Prompt: “What’s a truth I haven’t spoken out loud yet?”

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🛤️ Final Thought

You’re at a powerful crossroads—not lost, but underdefined. The next decade can be the most fulfilling yet, if you stop asking what should I react to? and start answering what do I want to lead with?

You don’t need more insight—you need more alignment between what you know and how you live.

Let’s build that alignment.

Warmly,
Your Life Coach

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In bullet point form...

Define your retirement vision: Don’t just avoid what you don’t want—declare what you do want.

Turn reflection into action: Follow every insight with a concrete next step.

Create a retirement roadmap: Clarify your financial, housing, and timeline plans with specifics.

Rebuild your social network: Intentionally reconnect or create new, meaningful relationships.

Experiment with your reading: Apply one idea from each book and reflect on the result.

Structure your growth: Use tools like a weekly self-review or journaling framework.

Explore vulnerability: Lean into hard conversations and emotional honesty.

Live more intentionally: Design days that reflect your values and desired lifestyle.

Engage more deeply with community: Join or start groups that share your interests.

Let your blogs evolve: Shift from commentary to personal experiments and leadership.

Align insight with lifestyle: Match your deep thinking with purposeful living.

Fire Weather

By John Valliant.

Fire weather is largely the story of the world’s largest wildfire, which took place in 2016 and consumed much of Fort McMurray Alberta. Valliant writes about this in intense and extended detail. 

It also covers climate change, and how humanity is building more into the wilderness, both of which increase the impact of wildfires. About once a century, the Boreal forest in northern Canada and Russia has always burnt down. What could go wrong with building new cities up there?

Climate change and its impacts is unsettling. Even if I go all green, what I can do will have very little discernible impact on the long-term outcome. I have to focus on the small changes and be prepared for the cynics who point out how ineffective all of this is. 

It's easy to be cynical. 

The Truth

By Terry Pratchett. A Discworld novel.

I have a mixed relationship with Pratchett’s Discworld series; some books delight me, while others fall flat.

This one was good. It centers on Discworld's first newspaper, which has as much sensational gossip as actual news.

As a fantasy series, Discworld is brimming with all sorts of outlandish creations. Interestingly, the author occasionally points out that a particular fabrication has a real-world counterpart.

I also enjoyed the zombie obituaries, which humorously detailed their adventures since their deaths.

Polostan

By Neal Stephenson.

I'm unsure about this book. It's a good read. Chapter by chapter it is very compelling. Dawn is a fantastic character. And then it just ends. Sure, she is in a bit of a predicament, but there is little overall mystery and there have been so many twists and turns along the way that I don't doubt that Dawn will escape.  

Elsewhere online, I see that Stephenson is planning to start a series with Polestan being the first book.

Death's End

By Liu Cixin.

A good end to the Three Body Problem trilogy. The book is an enjoyable read. If I have any beef with the book it's that Cixin wanted to write more about the books theme's, than about the plot. At some point, about 2/3rds of the way through the book, the villains, the Trisolarians, just leave and they are never really heard from again. We never learn much about them. Of course the Trisolarians were never the point of the story. The point is to dive into the harsh realities of cosmic sociology, where civilizations must remain hidden or risk annihilation in a ruthless, Darwinian universe.

The Last Thing He Told Me

By Laura Dave.

A fun and readable family mystery. After his employer is accused of fraud, a father sends his wife and his daughter cryptic messages and then vanishes.