Crucial Conversations.

Tools for talking when the stakes are high.

In this book, Crucial conversations are conversations that occur when people have different opinions, stakes are high, and emotions are strong.

One of my frustrations with this book is that I often to have an opinion. Somone is trying to discusses something very important with me, and I just don't care. The lessons of this book still apply, you just have to work a little more.

1. Establish and play attention to safety. Conversations go wrong when the person you are talking to no longer feels safe.
1. Establish Mutual Respect.
2. Establish Mutual Purpose.
2. Pay attention to the story you are telling. Is it consistent with your values? With the mutual values and meaning that you are creating with the person you are talking to?
3. Listen to other people, and there stories. Remember to keep mutual respect and purpose.
4. Use contrasting when describing a difficult situation. Contrasting is a do/don't statement. "I mean X, Not Y"
5. Start with the Facts
6. Notice your behavior in the conversation. Notice that of the person you are talking with
7. ABC. Agree. Build. Compare
8. Move to Action-- Decide how to Decide-- Conesus? Single person decision? Vote?